The Civil Marriage Initiative

It is never too late to invite Jesus into your marriage

Process for Marriage Formation for Civilly Married Couples

If you are a civilly married couple who is ready to begin the journey towards the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, or you are open to learning more about the process, these are the first steps that we would recommend:

Have a conversation with your pastor.

This is an important first step. Each couple is unique, and your pastor needs to meet with you to understand your journey as a couple thus far. While engaged couples have a very specific formation timeline (9-12 months), the timeline for couples who have been civilly married for five or more years varies depending on their particular situation. Your pastor will determine what you need to complete for your formation (such as meetings with a mentor couple or a retreat) and how long that formation will take. The Family Life Office has recommended a timeframe of 3-6 months, but your pastor has the flexibility to change that as needed.

Have you or your spouse been married before?

If either spouse has previous marriages, you must address this before you are able to celebrate your marriage in the Church. The Cana Project can assist you in figuring out what needs to be done first and guide you through the process. Situations vary greatly between couples. The Cana Project will help you determine next steps. Learn more

Seeking other sacraments in addition to marriage?

Some couples seeking the sacrament of Holy Matrimony also desire to become Catholic or to complete their Sacraments of Initiation (First Holy Communion and/or Confirmation). It is important to remember that before the other sacraments can be celebrated, the marriage needs to be resolved first. If you think you are in this situation, please see this video for more information. Your pastor will determine what you need to complete for your formation (such as meetings with a mentor couple or a retreat) and how long that formation will take. The Family Life Office has recommended a timeframe of 3-6 months, but your pastor has the flexibility to change that as needed.

Make your marriage better than ever.

Your pastor may ask you to attend a Three to Get Married retreat or to pick a mentor couple to accompany you through the Witness to Love Civil Marriage Initiative program. We invite you to learn more about those particular programs to see if those are formation resources that would benefit your relationship.

Stay connected to your parish community!

One of the more important steps to inviting Christ into your marriage is to attend Mass, to pray together, and to get connected with your parish community. Although you may not currently be able to receive Holy Communion, your presence in the parish is needed and wanted. The parish is there to accompany and support you as you begin this journey towards an authentic, Christ-centered marriage.